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| My Fun Page |
An atheist was taking a walk through the woods.
"What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.
He turned to look and saw a 9 foot grizzly bear charge towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him.
He looked over his shoulder again and the bear was even closer.
He tripped and fell on the ground.
He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.
At that instant the Atheist cried out to God.
Time stopped, the bear froze, the forest was silent. A bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky, "You
deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist, and even credit creation to a cosmic accident.
Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps could you make the BEAR a Christian?"
"Very well," said the voice.
The light went out.
The sounds of the forest resumed. And then the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together and bowed his head and
spoke:
"Lord, bless this food, which I am about to receive through Christ our Lord,
Amen."
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My dad took me to the zoo last weekend
They only had one dog in the whole place
It was a Shitsu |
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One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in the tiny town of Johnstown got up early and went to the local church. Before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about their lives, their families, etc.
Suddenly, the Devil himself appeared at the front of the congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.
Soon everyone was evacuated from the Church, except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence. Now this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
Satan asked, "Aren't you afraid of me?"
"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.
Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"
The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."
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| Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive, anyway. |
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| A man was driving down the road with polar bear in the passenger seat. The police stop him and say that he can't drive around with a polar bear in the car and should take them to the zoo. The man agrees and drives off. The next day the same man is driving down the road with the polar bear in the passenger seat again. He is stopped by the same police officer who says, "Hey! I though I told you to take the polar bear to the zoo." The man replies "I did. Today I'm taking him to the movies."
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