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Forgiveness is your gift to yourself.

Forgiveness of myself and others releases me from the past. Forgiveness is the answer to almost every problem. Forgiveness is a gift to yourself.

For two years, South Africa's Truth and Reconciliation Commission (TRC) heard testimony from victims and perpetrators of human-rights violations committed during the struggle against apartheid. TRC chairman Archbishop Desmond Tutu has described the astounding mercy of many individuals who were willing to forgive the people who had tortured them, murdered their loved ones, or thrown bombs into crowded churches.

My first wife had affair after affair over a 2 year period, I forgave her every time. Was I weak in doing that and allowing the situation to continue, no I don't think so. I didn't know what the cause was and I didn't know how to respond all I knew how to do was forgive each time she came to me and told me. Yes we remained together for that time, I only left because I could not stand to see the pain anymore or handle the humiliation of everybody knowing what was happening around me. We parted as friends both having forgiven the other for the pain we allowed and caused.

My second wife had an affair after being married for 3 years, an affair that lasted for nearly 4 years before I found out. I found out by accident one day returning home early and hearing noises upstairs you can guess the rest. She made no attempt at being sorry, she just sat and laughed whilst they both smoked a cigarette in bed as I packed a bag and walked out never to return again.

Which one do you think I hold more respect for? Which one has remarried and is living a wonderful life? Yes the first wife. She has a life style most people would envy and neither of us holds any animosity against the other.

My best friend for many years was shot in the head one day and died in my arms, nobody came to help us, nobody lifted a finger, they in fact carried on shopping as if nothing was happening around them. The man who did the shooting got away, no one gave chase, he was never caught or convicted for that crime. Why? We were both in the army and doing our job of protecting the local innocent population. It took me years to forgive what happened that afternoon but I had to because the hate was eating me away and ruining my life. That doesn't mean I will ever forget what happened, I have simply made a decision to forgive.

The Bible has a lot to say on the subject of forgiveness.

"And forgive our debts. The same as we forgave the debts that others owed us." - Matthew 6:12.
"If you forgive people for stepping out of line, your heavenly Father will forgive you too. But if you don't forgive other people, your father also won't forgive you for stepping out of line." - Matthew 6:14-15.

"And when you stand praying, forgive anything you may have against anyone so that your father in the skies may also forgive your transgressions." - Mark 11:25

"And if there are wrongs that he has done, he will be forgiven them. So admit to teach each other that you've done wrong, and pray for each other to be healed." - James 5:15-16

"Watch and listen: by the same measure that you measured, things will be measured out and put before you. In fact, he who has will be given more, while he who has nothing, even what he has will be taken away from him." - Mark 4:24-25

This means that the person who forgives will be forgiven and enlightened, but the one who doesn't forgive then his light will be taken away, because man lives by constant renewing of thought and body.

In order to forgive hate, you centered your attention on Love.

Forgiveness is so important that it will make the difference between peace and war, health and sickness, standstill and progress. The whole world may be healed from it wounds by the combination of Love and Forgiveness - Hermes Atar Trismegistus.

Forgiveness occurs when you are ready to release yourself from the past. Forgiveness releases you from the blame, shame victim game! Forgiveness is a self-protection mechanism ! Until you are willing to forgive your trespassers you'll stop the natural flow of Love and Abundance from entering your life!

Forgiveness means to accept unconditionally what happened! Your opinion that it was right or wrong, good or bad, does not serve you well. Forgiveness is a decision you make not an emotion you feel. You can decide to forgive someone even though you do not feel like it.

Your opinion about what happened only ACTS to hold your old "painful feelings" to you, causing you to re-live them over and over again. So you ask yourself the question, "WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.. AGAIN!" Your view point about what happened, the pain and upset you feel because someone said or did something towards you is only there because you allow it and you are seeing it from your point of view and not considering the other persons reasons.

Your family and friends make it even more difficult to forgive someone because they demand justice if you believe you have been wronged. You use up enormous amounts of energy holding onto your old anger! This weakens you and makes you more susceptible to illness and depression. You benefit by letting go of your past hurts and live in the present moment. This does not mean that you are condoning what happened, only that you refuse to accept it as a toxic influence in your life. You feel that you have been betrayed or violated in some way, but this is just your opinion, which is merely your judgment of what happened!

When you don't forgive someone and project negative, hateful, angry feelings... you lose energy. If you don't learn how to "forgive your trespassers", you'll find that your life force energy will just keep draining away! Until you forgive "them" you'll find it almost impossible to heal your mind or body.

"The dead past CAN'T provide your body with life force energy! And NOT forgiving someone is a powerful way NOT to heal!" - Caroline Myss

Your past could be inhibiting you from realizing you own divine potential, it will can cell out any positive energy, thoughts and aspirations you may have. Until you unconditionally accept your past, it will inhibit you from living fully in the NOW! Do not focus on the past that is dead and gone, bury it with forgiveness and get on with living the life you want. Forgive the affair your partner may have had, forgive the angry words that may have been spoken, heal the wounds because if you are in a relationship the person you first loved is still that same person, just circumstances caused a reaction a moment of weakness. Forgive them and get on with living the life you planned.

But I hear you say how can I forget that my partner has had an affair. Simple, do not dwell on that fact, the more you think about it the more it will happen. Your creating the situation by thinking about it because your subconscious will think that is what they want so let us create the situation for it. So instead, visualise how you want your partner to be with you, speak out the positive partner you desire, stop any negative thoughts as soon as you are aware of them.

When you forgive those who you consider have wronged you, you will release your feelings of love again, along with much of your life force energy.

It also has to be noted that this isn't just about forgiving others for what you feel they have done to you, it is also about forgiving yourself. Forgive yourself for whatever it is you have done, forgive yourself for allowing yourself to react to whatever it is the other has done and let the anger melt away like snow in spring time.